peelosophy

I feel like when I blog, I walk a fine line between making things rosier than they appear and complaining too much.  I’m a recovering complainer.  I never want to give the wrong impression, so forgive me if I lean one way or the other. When I read other people’s blogs, especially those I don’t really know, I get hard on myself.  I start questioning my own mothering skills, my relationship with John, or just how I look from the outside in. I guess just measuring myself against others, which I’ve learned is an exhausting game to play and can either lead to pride or inferiority. Neither of those feelings rest well with me.

So I’ve had to really focus in some basic truths.  First, I’ve needed to remind myself that God has each of us on a path that is uniquely designed for us.  And, reflecting on the fact, that He knows us perfectly because He is our creator–so why fight the path/place I am in?  Second, just realizing that other people’s affirmations or even my affirmations of myself are worthless b/c the only source of real affirmation is Christ’s unconditional love for me.  So easy to write, so hard to remember.

My friend, Annie, blogged a while back about how “she  intentionally exposes her weakness to destroy the image for other people, and thereby demolish it as a safe haven for herself.”  For example, she would invite people over to her house when it wasn’t perfect or letting herself cry in front of others.  I love this idea about exposing our weaknesses with others, being vunerable, it’s so opposite of what our society tells us.  Society says to have it all together and don’t stop striving till at least it looks like you have it all together.  Sounds draining to me, sounds a lot more refreshing to just be real.

It makes me think of the cooking blog, Pioneer Woman, on her sidebar she has a picture of a counter full of dirty dishes and it is titled, “Keepin’ it Real.”  Don’t you hate the dirty dishes that have to be washed after you’ve made dinner?  I do, but it’s nice to know that we all have dirty dishes, it’s a simple reminder to me that life isn’t perfect.  On the flip side, what gets me screwed up is when I associate normal with perfect.

So as a tribute to Annie’s quote, let me tell you a few things,

- I start projects and don’t finish them.

- There are always visible dust bunnies in my house, if you don’t see them, that means I cleaned just for you.

- I yell at my kids sometimes and have said some things that I regret.

- If I am eating something like chips, I will wipe the crumbs on my shoulder – don’t ask I’ve always done it.

- I go to counseling once a week.

- I will squeeze into jeans that are too small, for sake of my appearance.

- I can think terrible things about the people I love the most.

This is only a few.  My point is, I want to disclose my imperfection with you because I never want to to give you the impression that I am perfect.   Thankfully, I am perfect in Christ or this post would be a complete downer.