It’s funny now to think back on all the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
My college graduation party invitation read something like this….
“7 years, 2 schools and 4 majors later…”
You would think I would have graduated with medical or law degree, but instead I ended up with a liberal arts degree with minors in business and early childhood education. I needed to get the heck out college and gave my adviser my credits and said “what can I graduate with this?” It was like a kid bringing a ton of random change to the counter, but she made it work and I am forever grateful.
I then took a little break from school and, upon the advice of my dear ol’dad, I went to grad school. For someone who still had very little clue what she wanted to do, this was not the greatest nor frugal advice, but I was yearning for direction of any kind so I started my Master’s in Procurement and Acquisition Management. Even writing that I giggle a little, because that is so not me. About half way into the program, I got pregnant with JJ and had a choice to stay home. In a sense I was saved.
For the last 5 years, I’ve been raising my boys and watching other children out of my home. Sometimes, especially when I pay my student loan, I get frustrated with the money lost and my education not being used, but I can justify just about anything. I decide that my business, early childhood, and procurement studies are part of my everyday “job” and I feel a little better. And it is SO clear to me that this where God wants me and there isn’t a day I wake up and don’t want to do what I am doing.
I LOVE imagining what my boys will do when they grow up. Here are some thoughts I’ve had or what they’ve told me.
JJ wants to be a dentist on the weekdays and a race car driver on the weekends. I love this idea of work and play and how it makes so much sense to him. I could see him being a very good dentist. He is amazing with his hands and would do great with all those little instruments. I could see him doing anything creative with his hands. He would be a great carpenter, architect, engineer, something along those lines.
HENRY says that he wants to be a bread maker and “have his own shop where he will serve coffee for me and there will be lots of dancing”. I’m all for it. Whatever he does, I know he will do it with all his heart and soul because that’s the kind of guy he is – very passionate. He’s a sensitive feelings guy. I could see him being a great counselor or teacher or bread maker. I can already tell he is going to get his heartbroken a bunch, and when he does find the right girl, he will love them very well. I’m his mom, I know these things….Annie….Ruby….
George is only almost two. The only things that come to mind is a baseball pitcher or a comedian. He has an amazing arm, after he is done with dinner, you have to be fast to take his plate away or you better duck. A comedian is because he is always trying to get us to laugh – he’s a total ham. He’s even picked up a few knock knock jokes, although you may not think they are as funny as he does. My sister, Lara is the third born too and she is a comedian, maybe it’s a birth order thing.
I wonder what percentage of people really know what they want to be at 18 years old and have that career and love it for the rest of their lives. I used to always be a little jealous of those people knowing, it must have been nice. But I am beginning to see bits and pieces of my story, like wandering aimlessly for years, that brought me to where I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the “knowing”.
My mind has been creeping around into places I don’t like to go. Self-doubt seeps in. I am making comparisons with others that don’t look like me. Everything equals discontentment.
